The Observer
A micro view into music as an energy conduit and the tormented human conduits who no longer suffer. A deep dive into suicide as a chosen path to harmony.
Humans are born into an arena of death on a floating rock that is our planet.
On it, there is no more energy present now than in the beginning. Energy remains constant, although sadly not evenly distributed, while humans invent meaningless ways to annihilate the global race. Biological destruction observed over several hundred thousand years of repeated human behavior. Human life is earthborn and the struggle to live continues throughout.
Musicians, ancient trauma vectors with a story to tell, are born into the same arena of death, but have unlocked an ancient code embedded into the entirety of the human race. Musicians unlocked the code, some say it is a language, by using a genetic synchronicity between both hemispheres of the human brain. That harmony produces an observable uptick in functional connectivity in the auditory regions. (See source below.)
Both hemispheres1. That is the broken intrinsic link in non-musician brains, however, it can be repaired later in life. It takes a metric shit ton of work, but it can be done. The ability to heal is inherent to the human race; the grit and resolution to be a musician is not.
When musicians go public with their super power, it’s a quantum shift in existence, for them. From birth to the moment of super power discovery, their gift is discreet, known only to them. The moment their art goes live, a portal of vulnerability appears in the cosmos of the artist and not only can energy be projected outwardly to others, energy can now flow from the outside world into the never-before-seen parts and pieces of the creator's dark shadow: often the truest voice in music.
That’s really all quantum mechanics is about, nothing more than an understanding, a knowing of energy flow, the most discreet quantity, through a conduit. How energy flows through a conduit is simplistically and totally reliant upon the observer.
Once a musician realizes their quantum shift, a battle in the spiritual arena emerges: the battle human consciousness wages on the magical eternal human spirit. In full public view, the creative must now fight a delicate sparring match with its own ego: the identity created by self to be accepted in whatever world they were brought into (and subsequently abandoned or rejected). The revelation a musician makes upon knowing the conduit will allow the outside world to see their darkest corners is a supernova event. What happens next is totally up to the artist, with one fatal design flaw: human neurology.
The earthly organic makeup of the brain. When a musician discovers their super power, the mental battle begins, and ends, with ego. The shitty part about human neurology, especially those who are atypical, is that the battle is massively stacked against the human, unknown to the conscious mind. Through conditioning, the super power gained by thousands and thousands of hours practicing (reading, studying, researching, listening, meditating, dreaming, writing, and who knows what else), the work begins to unlock an awareness of how the ancient energy grid system works, communicating with a language created by Mother Earth herself: music.
Unfortunately for family and community, some humans, upon discovering vulnerability is an inescapable quantum shift through music, are not prepared (or capable) to take on the weight of others seeing them, through their music; their exposed, free-flowing conduit into the darkest corners of their self-fabricated fears. And society profits by reinforcing negative images of self. Sure, troubled humans have a soul, a gift, passion, kindness, love, all the good things. Inside, they are raging a war nobody outside their existence knows anything about: the invisible battle with authenticity in a fabricated battle space often known as guilt. The same amount of work a troubled musician spends on their craft is the same amount of intensity they spend on the false version of themselves, the ones who learned how to be something else after abandonment or rejection. Completely unknowingly. It's a defect in the human brain, not the human spirit.
Once a musician becomes vulnerable with themselves to begin the shadow work to unlock their true existence, they will either accept it or reject it, and rejections means shutting the damn thing down because the psyche is programmed to kill anything that conduits rejection, or the idea of it.
In the global arena of death, music is energy.
How can constant energy be shut down?.
Permanently remove the conduit.
Music is the conduit for unconditional love in the human race. Music as energy cannot be destroyed.
Vulnerability is the conduit for unconditional love with self. It may never exist in some as humans have evolved to remove unsafe, non-serving, and sadly in our modern world, uncomfortable conduits. They create nothing. Risk nothing. They are born, they grow, they die. Some, like me, never knew the conduit existed because the one I had fortified was indestructibly proven to keep me alive. Or so I thought.
In our biological ecosystem, humans are born with genetic brain functions, or may develop (unlock) brain functions later on in life. Today, we call this typical and atypical and I dislike both. Labels are a society construct and restricts growth, but it does help to at least know which game to play.
During the adult portion of life, humans at peace have found balance; harmony with Mother Earth and all life; being light for others. Those who are severely hurting have removed all the conduits that produce the feel-good stuff in the brain, and only operate on select conduits the human psyche constructed during the period of life called survival mode: point of first rejection to point of initial healing. The time most often in human life where destruction reigns supreme. It's in our earthborn DNA.
The basis of destruction is rejection. Human psyche evolved to a state of prolonged comfort to invent artificial feelings and assumed privileges that wage war against peace and harmony; balance. War against acceptance (existence). The human psyche invented identity and is now perhaps waging war in the global ecosystem of humans, which we are clearly seeing in the now. Live in uncensored cold blood.
Some in our community are waging an internal war, much like I did in a former life, with the image they wanted to see in the mirror versus accepting the beautiful, neurotic light they projected and the power to grow through healing.
Some can no longer sense the light.
Born with a gift to unlock ancient codes but lacking neurological awareness, troubled musicians may remove the spirit conduit that is the human pulse of existence. The spirit pulse then moves on to those with accessible conduits in place. In the now.
No matter what your opinion on death is, it's what you do in the now that will breathe energy into the spirit of lost loved ones. The physical action applied in the now is the human spirit at work from energy of those we lost far too early, working through conduits put in place by those who mentor us in the now.
The gladiators who escaped death in the arena of their own psyche.
The Others.
Special DVD Feature:
The story above first took shape when I discovered Almost Always Never earlier this year and began to deep dive their music. I began to sense that there was another language being spoken within their music and I sensed it was some sort of neurodivergence and began research on the topic. Their music led me to listen more closely to certain sounds, rhythms, breaks, timing, lyrics, and all the energy that make up a song, or an album. After they dropped their album, Hey! Disarray, I understood their music. I asked about their band members neurology and nearly all are on some sort of spectrum. Which means: I discovered for the first time, 3 days before turning 48 back in the summer, my own knowing (discovery) that something had been hidden from me deep within my own existence. Musicians communicate in fascinating ways and they each hold a key that unlocks some sort of code. What code is unlocked is completely up to the observer.
The ancient code, eternal energy, came to me during Sally Grayson's performance in Albuquerque with Alex McMahon and Greg Williams, and subsequently during a deep dive into her album, The Darkness In Me. I now had two albums to study neurology and ancient codes of growth through suffering.
The community suffering, after losing Michael "Mike" Barth (Miguel Lavoe) compelled me to write but I wasn't sure what to say until I put all the pieces together you are reading now. Mike's passing, along with far too many others in 2023, gave this community pause and brief solidarity during a time of global conflict and suffering. His spirit is very much alive in the now.
The flow, break and punch of the story was made possible by experiencing Dat Yak more intently after catching them condense minds to vapor in NOTLCB as The Roots. The otherworldly performance of Dee Brown, Artha Meadors, Paul Palmer, and Claudio Tolousse at Thirsty Eye gave me the codes needed to understand emotional signals in music as I continue my ridiculous carpet ride of self discoveries through the grit, soul, and discipline of the magicians on stage that night.
The piece was written while listening to ESCAPISM on repeat over the course of two days, a new album by MESSAGES, the human spirit of one being gone too soon transposed into the musical cosmos of Jesse Mortensen and the production prowess of Dustin Hoag. Jesse, suffering human loss, chose to celebrate life in the now, using his own energy, with the spirit of Chuck Parker unlocking the codes. Chuck's spirit lives on. In the now, through the album and unconditional love of Jesse Mortensen.
As a writer, I can now symbolize and distribute my own set of codes in written form, produced by the same energy that comprises a musician's sound: all influences poured into a blender with the artist's very own stank (discipline, grit, and soul) and the outcome is human art. Art is the power of the human spirit, carried on in the now, inspired by the souls who shared their light, even when they couldn't sense it themselves; those no longer with us.
Also known as, The Others.
They are both one and the same.
Story first published in Nov 2023 on author’s website.